We’ve heard about fat shaming before – and most of us know about this first hand malheuresment– but never vulva shaming.
A good jumping off point is Wrenna Robertson’s blog post “Starting the conversation“. Vulva shaming is when 1 person chastises another female’s vulva for the way it looks. Typically the complaints are: tissue is too big, too flappy or just plain misshapen.

Let’s all take a moment to pause to really absorb this concept.

I can’t imagine saying to anyone, “Hey girl, you gotta do something about that snaggly-looking vulva.”

With the world we live in, can we not give each other a break? We’re now searching for fodder below the belt? How ludicrous to fault the look of something that’s not in our control.

Okay then how do you know what it’s supposed to look like?

Firstly, let’s get anatomical terms in order.
Vagina = the internal parts of female gentalia.
Vulva = umbrella term for external genitalia including both sets of labia & mons. Most of us have used the term vag or vagina when we were actually referring to the vulva.

The Vision of the V

Lo and behold, there is a wide variety colours, sizes and shapes of vulvas. There is no right and wrong.
Check out the variety at the informational website Australia’s Labia Library.¹
Since you are likely not in adult entertainment², comparing your A,B,Vs (or someone else’s) to that of a pornographic star’s is unfair. A lot of stars alter the way their bodies look: piercings, labiaplasty, skin bleaching, skin fillers, skin tighteners, etc. The playing field is not level. In fact, there’s nothing playful about this nonsense.

But really I think something is awry with my V

Just like other bodily tissue, vulvas can also get troubled or… start off troubled. If you feel or see something funny, feel or see a change or you’re just not sure, then get checked under the proverbial hood by a trusted gynecologist.

If you have been vulva (or ­body) shamed

please speak with a licensed health professional such as through the Canadian Psychology Association or American Psychology Association. And speak out against this inappropriate, unhelpful behaviour.

If you have engaged in vulva (body) shaming

then you need to get your issues sorted toute fg suite. The vulvas around you will look different from yours. You are probably not an expert³ on vulvar anatomy so please don’t embody one.

For more info on vulvar issues:
The V Book
National Vulvodynia Association
Society of Obstetricians and Gynecologists of Canada
American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists
The National Women’s Health Information Center
International Vulval Society
Footnotes
¹Wow a Labia Library? Yes N&Kers, those Aussies go down under to get the real goods on the goods.
²If you are in the adult entertainment field, consider the emo impact of how your body looks to others. Consider about non-intrusive methods to enhance body parts. Or better yet, go au naturel.
³And if you are an expert, vulva shaming is neither considered good bedside manner nor is it helpful.

In case you are late to the game, 90 Pounds and Counting is where my life was about 15 years ago.  I was tired, unmotivated and coasting through life.

The follow-up post is available in Part Deux.  Here I discuss my loss of 90 pounds and the other gains I made in life.  Weight loss isn’t just a lower number on a scale.  Meaningful weight loss is about changing your outlook on life.

So we’re going to give you The Secrets straight up.  And for free.  But first, a word from our sponsors.

Just kidding… Truth be told:

• There’s no “secret”.

→→This is nothing new, and is mostly common sense.

• You are unique.

→→Celebrities will tout the virtues of V-steaming* or a crimson-foods only diet or whatever fad is hot on the market.

 That is them.

You is you.

• And no, we don’t have sponsors.  So without further adieu…

N&K’s Tips 1 to 10** for Healthy Weight Management

­

1) True motivation = YOU.

When I changed my motivation from

…i­mproving my looks 

Gotta: fit into those clothes

Gotta: be a certain size

Gotta: look a certain way

(translation: motivation was to fit in with everyone else)

⇒          ⇒       ⇒    ⇒ ⇒

choosing to live for myself

Must: improve my own physical & mental health

Must: improve the health of my future self

(translation: motivation was to make me better because I choose to do it, not because someone guilted me or told me to),

And I found that my behaviours shifted naturally.

This shift happened a few weeks after I was diagnosed with a serious and chronic condition.  (You can read about that in the first post of the series.)

2) Empower yourself through education & wise choices.

You’re a unique human being. But what makes you you?  Learn about yourself, your habits (bad and good), your family’s health history or your own diseases and disorders.

And, I’m not just talking food and exercise, folks. Surround yourself with like-minded supportive peeps.

Like attracts like. If you want to quit tobacco/caffeine/other drugs or want to train for a marathon or get into school… immerse yo’ fine self with people who are interested in doing the same. (Why do you think support groups are helpful!) If you only hang out with peeps who engage in the behaviours you want to change, how is that support adding value to your life?  We’re not saying replace your old friends by making new ones.  We’re saying… look up and see what other people are out there.

3) Aim for S.M.A.R.T. goals.

My overall goal was to lose 115 pounds. From my first post, you know I was intimidated by this number. Who the heck wouldn’t be!?!

So I broke this down into manageable realistic chunks. Click here to access my SMARTified goal template. In the doc, the gloomy gray goal is untenable.  I show you how I made the goals within arm’s reach (in blue).

4) Implement exercise. Keep it enjoyable & doable.

And try to have a workout buddy!

I started by dancing at home a couple times a week. And later on, when I joined a gym, my co-bootcamp babes kept me accountable when I missed a class.

I slowly worked up to what I do now, which is 6-7 days/week.

P r e v i o u s l y . . . On my workdays, I was on the elliptical, with weights in evening. Zumba on my days off.

N o w .  .  .  I’m training for the 5 km, I’m jogging 3-4x/week. (Mixture of treadmill and outdoors.)  On rest days, I’m swimming. Once weekly I’m at my dessert Zumba class.

That’s it for now, lovelies!

What do you think of our Helpful Tips thus far?

What are your thoughts on fad diets and celebrity toutings?

Please leave a comment below.

The footstuffies:

* yes there is a celebrity that’s advising ladies to steam their Vs.  We need to consciously uncouple from that shizen. You should only steam your food, blocked sinuses and your blackheads.

** We can’t put all 10 in one post. That’s ludicrous!  Why on earth would you be back if you’ve got all 10 tips in your pocket now? So we’ll feature Tips 5-10 over the next few weeks.