As you all have probably noticed or just know Nals and I do not have kids. And here’s the thing, we don’t want kids. This may be shocking to some people. Why would 2 happily married women choose to not have children?
So let’s talk about it.
First of all, let’s not assume.
1. Let’s not assume we don’t like children. In fact, we do. Being aunties is very important to us. The kids in our lives bring us extreme love and joy.
2. Let’s not assume this brings turmoil to our marriages. It doesn’t. We are all on the same page.
3. Let’s not assume we will change our minds. We wont.
4. Let’s not assume all women have the longing desire to have children. Yes, some do. But like us, some don’t.
5. Let’s not assume that we aren’t having children because we don’t want to. Yes it’s true for me, I don’t want kids. But there are many women out that that want to and cant. Please be mindful that these women are going through a lot and don’t need the assumptions and judgments from others.
Secondly, let’s stop telling women that choose to not have children hurtful things. 1. Stop saying: “you will never know true love until you give birth”. This is not true. We are happy you love your child however, please stop discrediting the love we have for the people we have in our lives. 2. Stop saying: “you’re young, you will change your mind”. Age has nothing to do with it. But thanks for thinking we are young. 3. Stop saying: “well what does your husband think, doesnt he want kids”? Again, this is a team decision. We had these convos before we were married. As the womb carrier in the relationship we arent holding our spouses hostage. 4. Stop saying: “but you would make a great mother”. Maybe I would. But maybe I wont, after, I don’t want children. I want to be a great auntie. I’m a great auntie. I don’t want to be a mother.
I truly appalled Jen Aniston. For years she been made out to be a woman that wants children but cant. Or a woman that wants children but not with the current man. Or the man wants them and she doesn’t so he has to leave her for a woman that wants kids. That’s so awful. Why is she the bad guy? And why does society and tabloids create the stories around her choice to not have children and make her to be the villain. Maybe she does want children but cant. How awful for her to have people assume things about her. And I’m amazed at her poise and strength.
Please, I beg you. Please stop seeing women who don’t want children as bad or wrong or broken. We aren’t judging you because you want them. We think that’s great! So please understand our choice.