N&K Burlesque Update

We’re now into 2020 burlesque year, folks.

2020 is a year of changes. And here is the evidence…

Two VBC🔗 instructors are on preggo leave³. So, the interim instructors² are bringing in new hot exciting classes.

Nals is taking a tap class. Hmm how does tap tie into contemporary burlesque? Excellent question. Guess you guys will have to come out to watch how Cleo Victory🔗 whips us into shape.

Kells is taking chair level 2. Yes you heard that right. Level bloody 2 with Chastity Twist🔗! Kells is learning how to contort in new slithers. The performance promises to be sizzling.

We are both taking a second class which is with newbie Ginger Avenue¹🔗. We’ll be bumping and grinding down under¹, to classic burlesque moves.

So come check us out at The Rio Theatre 🔗on Thursday, March 12, 2020.  

Footnotes: ¹Ginger is a new instructor but has been performing for years. She’s an Aussie! ²The second instructor is Portia de Favro🔗. N&K were itching to try one of her classes but she’s only doing intermediate and advanced. After a year of burlesquing, we feel that we’re past beginner stage but not quite intermediate.³Congratulations to Cherry on Top and Ariel Helvetica on bringing 2 new tinies to the GVA!

Change of Choice

I’ve been thinking a lot about changes lately.

Some career opportunities have come up and so a rehaul was due.

A few years ago, I made a huge change. I left the comfort of my full-time job in mental health, to go to a part-time job in the medical field. I needed to switch gears. And the leftover time would allow me to pursue my business idea and some extras.

This was a brilliant move!

Then things started to feel a little stale. Burlesque, getaways and fitness made things a bit exciting and now we’re back to a feeling a bit stagnant.

So, I took a leap of faith on some opportunities that happened to come my way. And, it’s official: I’m back full-time in mental health!

Overall, this is a good move for me and my future. Then why do I feel this anxiety, which is overwhelming at times?

Did you know that stress is multidimensional?

It affects our cognitive, physical, behavioural and social dimensions.

Stress can*:

  • have a positive (eustress) and/or negative (distress) nature,
  • have a time frame: acute or chronic (or even acute on chronic),
  • be planned or unexpected.

There are pros and cons to everything. And that’s okay. It’s in how you process it and to find appropriate supports.

For me, the CBT approach works best. I know that I ruminate in my feelings like a dog rolls around in a rotting carcass**. My previous negative experiences roll into it. And all these feelings become overwhelming. They overwhelm my logic and I sink farther into the well. I also have a tendency to bottle it all up°.

What works for me

  1. I recognize there’s a problem°°,
  2. I label my feelings and thought distortions,
  3. I use logic to break my thought cycles,
  4. I talk it out with a trusted support person.

This is what works for me. I’ve read a lot about these techniques. I’ve done research on it. I’ve facilitated & observed CBT. I’ve had my own multi-modal therapy.

Please keep in mind that I’ve had a lot of exposure and practice so I know what works for me. This may not be what works for you.

If you are new to CBT or its tenets don’t quite resonate, N&K encourage you to research different techniques. And then to get appropriate support.

Here is a list of clickable resources to get you N&Kers started:

The Anxiety & Worry Workbook

Bounceback: Reclaim Your Health (depression)

Women’s Anger Management Workbook

Men’s Anger Management Workbook

Boundaries

Brene Brown podcasts and books

Anxiety Canada

Footnotes:
*Winning a competition can be positive. But, there can be negatives too such as feeling more pressure to win the next comp and feeling like the need to train harder. But maybe you don’t have the resources or social support for this.
*An example of acute on chronic is: having a large distressing debt and then all of a sudden, my car breaks down. I don’t have the money to fix it but I need my car to get to work to help pay down the debt.
**Except I don’t want to roll around in it.
°Not sure why I bottled shit up. It’s probably rooted in not being able to trust. But I’ve learned that I have lots of supportive people around, and I can trust them.
°°It took me a long time to realize that feelings are not fact. Feelings can be overwhelming. There are a lot of tools to help me manage. And I know I can manage when I recognize there’s an issue.

Labour Day Freedoms: oh baby look at all the places we can go!

Labour Day is today in Canada and the US, N&Kers.

After Netflixing the Alcasser Murders (#ElCasoAlcasser) and monitoring the #hkprotest, I reflected on our freedoms.

As females in North America, Kells & I are:

  • lucky to have a (safe) say in living our own lives.
  • privileged to have post-secondary education.
  • lucky to be able to work in our chosen fields. (These are fields that we actually enjoy working in!)

Things aren’t perfect in North America.

People who want a higher education or a better-paying job are not able to get what they want due to lack of resources or system biases.

People are hungry, exhausted, hopeless, depressed…

And imagine other countries where freedoms are less-than, especially for us ladies*.

Sure, there’s room for improvement. But let’s take a moment, this Labour Day, to acknowledge and celebrate how far we’ve come:

  1. how bad working conditions were;
  2. what freedoms our predecessors fought for;
  3. that workers efforts’ deserve respect and appreciation.

It took only one person’s courage to speak out and gather the masses to discuss how to make change.

What should our next steps be?

Equal pay?

Addressing Positive and Negative Discrimination?

Equality vs Equity

Please feel free to discuss in the comments below

Happy Labour Day everyone!

Wake Up Before You Go Go


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October is Women’s Health month here on N&K. Today, nals will be discussing self esteem.

When I was heavier, I felt bombarded with images of thin, smooth-skinned, tall ladies as ‘beautiful’. If it was North American media, then tanned vixens. And if Bollywood media, then fair-skinned maidens. No one looked like me: pear-shaped, bespectacled, with frizzy unkempt waves & darker skinned… unless it was an actor who played an evil Bollywood mom. Or, was the star of a self-named comedy show (see posts on Tips 1-4, 5-8, 9-10). And I wasn’t any of those adjectives either!

And these thin women were portrayed as The Ultimate Show Ponies, dripping with confidence, promise, fulfilling lifestyles, happiness and sex appeal. Today, I say “Bravo!” to advertising and entertainment sectors for the deep ingrainment. They worked hard to get that image across.  At the time, it didn’t occur to me that I didn’t know anyone else that looked like that, either. Move over Manson² and Heaven’s Gate, Media is the Ultimate brainwasher.

Keep in mind, my teen years were spent poring over glossy magazines with shiny images, talking on the phone with friends, and watching TV. We didn’t have internet or cell phones. My escape was TV and staying up late reading books¹. So growing up with rigid ideas of what the perfect 2-D body looks like makes a regular 3-D girl feel less-than.

In all honesty I thought once I lost weight³, I would be happier. Things would magically fall into place. Of course this is real-life, not a fairy tale.

Happiness is something you attain. It is not bestowed upon you.

 

 

I had to really think about what would make me happy. I love reading, photography, the theatre

and writing. I love all kinds of dance. I am happy when beautiful things surround me: people, clothes, art, wine, food. And I am happy after I have challenged myself.

I try to do things to push my personal boundaries like co-writing this blog. (Yes, I love writing but it’s not easy to put yourself out there.) I’ve taken loads of pictures, in public. Then put up these up for you all to see.

 

 

And last week, I started a burlesque class with Kells. Yes, burlesque. I love how bawdy, welcoming, tongue-in-cheek, flirty, raucous it is. And we had no idea about its fabulously clandestine history

This is an intro class, with a lovely range of ladies across sizes, ages, shapes and abilities. About one third took the class to push themselves, have fun and become more comfortable in their own skin.  Some of the same reasons as N&K!

I would say I’m a happier person, having pushed personal boundaries and embracing all aspects of myself. Am I positive and happy 100% of the time? Of course not. Real life has ups and downs. But if you want to lead a more fulfilling lifestyle…
you gotta wake the F up. Self-evaluate and make a plan of change.
Don’t just chug along with life. Grab it by the horns and point it in the right direction!

Footnotes
1 Thanks Judy Blume, Stephen King, Danielle Steele, Isaac Asimov for keeping me up too late
2 Charles, not Marilyn
3 According to a female family member, all I needed to do in my teen years, was lose weight, get rid of unsightly zits and get toss the glasses. (She was unsure of this last thing, as presumably, there were attractive librarians with glasses.) This aunt was a solid support to me. She never lied. But, she encouraged my strengths and didn’t let me forget them. And I adored her. (She was the next best thing to sliced bread!) So when she gave me this unsolicited bit of advice, which came out of the blue, I was heartbroken.

Muscle Development Quarterly

from glamour gals
to funny gals
In March, our lil friend and personal trainer Koach got both N & K into a muscle development regime.  This is a good way to transform your workout from mundane back to great. In honour of Koach’s birthday today, we are writing this post to update y’all on our progress! Continue reading

Ab Fab Brunch at Fairways


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After finishing a photoshoot with a twilight feel, graffiti and frozen water features¹ near-ish to Rocky Point², we went for a leisurely breakfast at Fairways Grill and Patio (located at the Westwood Plateau Coquitlam Golf Course).
We were the first ones there on a Sunday morning. The staff let us sneak in for a cup of coffee while they did their opening prep.

Continue reading

90 Pounds: Helpful Tips 9-10

Whoop whoop! We are down to the last 2 Tips.


Here‘s how the series started, 90 pounds ago.  Read why I changed.  I tell you how I made my changes, using the ME method: Tips 1-4 (includes S.M.A.R.T.ening up your goals) & Tips 5-8.

Kells’s life situation was a bit  different. She is a lifelong athlete.  However, a back injury & years of schooling-and-sitting changed her body.  But, she used the Tips… and here’s how she uniquely applied Tips 1-4 & 5-8.


Let’s forge ahead with our last 2 Tips.
9) Plan  a    h   e  a d.

We all have busy lives with deadlines and schedules. But your body deserves better than junky ass food and a sedentary day.

Think about meal plans, groceries and your exercise regime a week in advance. That way when something unexpected slows you down, you are already prepared. Like a superhero. (But better cuz it’s real!)

Fuel your body.

  • Take advantage of slow cookers and insta-pots;
  • Make extra portions – to freeze or eat again the next day;
  • Remember you can utilize frozen veggies and pre-cut fruit trays.  Or, can it! But don’t forget to rinse off the salty liquid;
  • Have healthy snacks around like veg & fruit tray with homemade dips.  Pre-portion snacking bags of nuts and cheeses for your lunch bag or grab it when you’re running late.
  • Make a versatile dish that you can change up.  For example: veggie chili can be eaten several ways: the usual way in a bowl with toppings, or use it to fill quesadillas or serve with meat/rice;^
  • When making tonight’s meal, cut up extra veggies & onions for tomorrow’s meal. Or, freeze it with homemade herb/spice mixes for future slow cooker meals.
  • How about re-purposing those Mason jars with salads or yogurt parfaits?*;
  • Supermarkets often have healthy meal options like protein & veggie plates in their deli section.

Get (and then keep on)                    m o  v   i    n    g!

Yes absolutely do your dedicated workout.   But you can’t expect it to be as effective if you then just sit on your bum the rest of the day. Keep on moving!

  • Attempt chin-ups with your buddies (see video above for the N&K rendition);
  • Take the stairs instead of the elevator.  (Yes even if your destination is on the 10th floor.**);
  • Sprint up or take the stairs 2 at a time or do lunges in-between floors;
  • Park a few blocks away from your destination, so you are forced encouraged to walk a few extra blocks. (If taking the bus, get off a few stops early);
  • Lunching with colleagues is a great team builder.  Instead of the usual restaurant fare, have a work picnic!  Walk together to a nearby park (or greenspace) & chow down on homemade lunches.  You could have fun themes like having green and Irish foods for St. Patricks Day;
  • Take a romantic stroll after dinner;
  • Plank it! while you watch TV (let your food digest a bit first and warm up beforehand);

The options are endless, folks.

10) Don’t forget about your GD self care.

Kells and I will be posting a lot more on this so BOLO.

Remember I said that this is not a diet.  Diets are typically short periods of radical diet changes to lose weight.  These are not good for your psyche, metabolism, habit reversals or empowerment.

This is a changing-your-outlook on life endeavor.  And folks, life is totes more than just food and exercise!

It is important to do some self care every single day.

This can be as simple as:

  • Waking up early to enjoy your morning coffee in the peaceful silence of the sunrise;
  • Doing a bit of gardening! Spring Equinox was a few days ago. Though weatherwise the PNW is a bit wonky, the plants are sprouting up right on schedule;
  • Stopping to smell the roses or the fresh baked goods at your local bakery. (You can choose to just look and smell, and don’t have to necessarily eat it every time you walk by.);
  • Treating yo-self and yo pups to an unexpected long weekday walk in the park;
  • Paint, sketch, draw;
  • Knit, crochet;
  • Sing in the shower;
  • Sleep in on a day off;
  • Netflix (+/- the “and chill”);
  • Go to the spa;
  • Review that spa experience on your blog;
  • Catch up with an old friend;
  • Tinker with that old beater you’ve had sitting in the garage for years…

So today …

I feel pretty darn good. I have lost some weight and inches.  I have gained muscle, endurance & gumption.  I have found healthier ways to cope.  I have been pushing personal boundaries.  In fact, on March 17, I finished my first 5KM Run! I was 6 minutes faster than my practice runs (which must have been all that adrenalin).  I defo would not have considered doing that even 5 years ago. And we’re planning on doing another one in a month!

Kells and I are going to do a professional photoshoot tomorrow!  Even a year ago I would’ve said No way.

Sure, I still struggle with some stuff like eating too much junk during that monthly hormone change. Or if I’ve not prepared my meal plan a week ahead^^.

It’s been 15 years… and sometimes I get stuck on the thought that I should have lost all of the weight already.  But I know I’m moving forward and challenging myself in a lot of other ways.

I’m a sun-bunny.  I love warm bright days.  In the PNW, the weather may be mild but it’s damp which ≠ warm.  Some mornings I’d rather just stay snuggled in my down duvet. I don’t always feel like getting up at 5 am to exercise.

But at the end of the day I know I’ll feel less ache-y, more energized and closer to my goals if I just get my cantankerous arse out if bed.

And that’s it (for now) for the 90 Pounds and Counting series.  …. Stay tuned for how Kells broke down these Tips to suit her lifestyle.      And we still have reviews coming your way.

What did you think about my 90 Pound Tips?

Common sense?

Surprising?

Ludicrous?

Leave a Comment below!

Footloose footnotes

^ other versatile dishes: grill a whole buckload of chicken & veggie kebabs (protein can also be tofu or veggie ground round).  Use different marinades.  Or, keep the marinade simple but dress it differently at service with salad, in a wrap or other starch. Dressing=  tzatziki or raita style, cumin/oregano/lime, balsamic with fresh rosemary, Thai/Malaysian inspired coconut curry, Vietnamese bahn mi inspired sour-sweet-salty, French Provencal herbs with champagne vinegar or homemade Dijon.

How to MJ salads: starting bottom up: salad dressing, hearty items (beans, peppers, fennel), leafy tenders then top with cheese/seeds/nuts.  Keep upright until you are ready to eat. Then shake it up & enjoy. Use a similar idea for MJ yogurt: plain yogurt, hearty fruit, tender fruit and top off with granola/nuts.

** In our previous job, Kells & I would see clients on the 7th & 8th floors in DTES SROs.  The stairs were old AF, rickety crickety, slanted, with short landings and usually covered in some UFOs (unidentified fluids or objects). And if that sounds treacherous, you don’t want to see the elevators.

^^IDK but it never ceases to amaze me that our pattern (including my spouse with a forever healthy BMI) is that when we don’t prep/plan our meals ahead of time, we scramble when our tums grumble. Which is usually for takeout ⇒ bigger portions, more salt and fat than home cooking. Plus it eats into your budget like a hungry hippo! Take a look at your own household’s patterns.  Meal planning is not hard. It is not a chore.  It is something that helps you to align with your life goals.

90 pounds and counting… Part Deux

A while back I talked about starting on my journey of self-discovery^.  

Click here to read that post.  

So, let’s cut to 15 years later. . .


Yes, it’s a sad state of affairs but c’est vrai. There’s less of me to hug… (not that I’m much of a hugger anyways)


 . . . I’ve lost: about 90 pounds, a few clothing sizes, some unhealthy habits and coping, some excessive anxiety and some of my self-critical automaton.

 

. . . I’ve gained:        

  • strength.  Initially, I struggled to exercise with 2-pound weights. And now I’ve got me some pipes, yo!* If it wasn’t for tendonitis, I’d be doing push ups left right and centre. Yeah and I’d be an old pro at those burpees.  (You know that unnatural unnecessary abnormal ‘conditioning’ exercise.)

  • endurance. I came across this interesting BBC article  Is Physical Endurance All In The Mind?   Yes I think a large part of it lives in your brain – different parts: making new synaptic connections, challenging yourself, improving your skills.

For example, I could barely do 5 minutes on the elliptical. And now, I can do 60 minutes with my eyes closed**. One of my initial goals was to run 2 straight minutes. And now? Different story. At last count I could run at 4.5mph for 30 straight minutes. That’s on a treadmill.  (Outside running is a different story grr… I’m still working on it.)


I’m training for my first 5k city fun run!  Kells -and Mr. Kells- will be there of course.  (They’ve done a few 5k runs, so it’s old hat to those 2 cute fit bits.)  In our cheering section will be Mr. Nals, mumsey, mumsey-in-law and Lil Kiwi!~  


  • gumptionI strive to push my comfort levels a little. On the last few trips I’ve been on, I’ve done something different. I’ve zip lined, spelunked, explored volcanos and hiked all over the world. For a lot of peeps, this is the norm.  Until now, it was challenging for me.

I’ve also embraced the camera and… have taken loads of photos (on our Instagram).  Previously, taking photos was extremely stressful and a negative experience.  Now: it’s way funner^^ to let go and take quirky pictures.  For our S. F. U. shots 1  2  3, we traipsed around with our photog gear, and vogued L, R & C.  (Good exposure therapy for me: People saw us, were mildly curious and watched for a bit, and then went on about their day.)

In order to take nice pictures, you have to put yourself out there both physically and emotionally. (Think of those photos you begrudgingly take at family gatherings.  Your eyes end up closed or your face is all contorted.  Next time – embrace the photoshoot.  I’ll bet yours will be the best-looking face in the group.~~)

  • a better outlook on life.  When you stop making excuses, see all the awesomeness out there and just do… It’s amazing how wonderful life is.  No, life isn’t perfect.  The world isn’t perfect.  But at least you’re trying to improve yourself.
  • greater self-awareness.
  • the skills to be more trusting and open.  Because of a whole bunch of reasons, I tend(ed) to be private. I’m trying to be more social and… open about me***.  And you know, it’s not too bad. (Not sure the people around me would agree lol.)

So what’s my secret?

 … Just add a pinch of cayenne!


Ha I wish cuz I love me my spicy food.
In all honesty, there is no secret. But I have figured out a few helpful things along the way that I’ll share with you over the next few weeks.  Kells will also weigh in with her thoughts.
Stay tuned, N&Kers!

The end bits and bobs:

^ yes this is cheezy AF. But it’s true.  Weight loss, like many lifechanging behaviours, include gaining self awareness, motivation and then enacting right plan.

* I still have a bit of chicken wing but I’m working on it.

** (though not literally cuz I’d lose my balance).

^^ yep that’s a word.

When I texted the invitation to mumsey, she said, “Oh this is so exciting!” LOL isn’t she too cute for words?

~~ and if not, then there’s always next time, right.

*** This includes more smiling. Apparently my smile is better looking than my RBF.  And hey the content of these last 2 posts were not totally easy for me to divulge either.

What do you guys think?  

RBF vs. Smiling?

Leave us your thoughts and comments on your experiences with weight loss, self awareness, motivation and changing lifelong bad habits.

All that Glitzes is Glitter


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One cool December evening, we were watching Forensic Files, as I am a criminologist-by-night^. And we found out there’s a Glitter Guy! This dude has been collecting glitter for over a decade purportedly for forensic purposes (but we know he secretly loves to roll around in all that glitter!)

Clearly, this shibbles-n-bits isn’t just for kindergarteners anymore.

And so… what better time, than Holiday Time!, to discuss shimmery glittery goodness.

Today, we’ll be giving you the lowdown on:

1) BITE’s Prismatic Pearl Crème Gloss
2) smashbox’s Be Legendary Liquid Lip
3) Julep’s Moisturizing LipGloss

.One day, I had me a hankerin’ to get some glitterati. I was directed to the BITE Prismatic Pearl Crème line, with 10 coveted colour choices. The Pink Pearl is a light pink opaque with a suspension of light pink glitter. It has cool white-silvery undertones. The Rose Pearl’s base is a warmer opaque magenta with mesmerizing dual-tone glitter (pink-gold). I can’t quite figure out if the base is golden-hued or if it’s just the glitter. But whatever it is, it’s all fab. These glitter glosses (GGs) have staying power and true colour. (eg: it looked the same on me and Kells, and looked the same as inside the bottle.) The base feels like creamy gloss, and there’s no gritty feel to the glitter. Warning: this line is not for the glitter-shy. It bites you right in the kisser. So, if you’re unsure about glitter, you may want to look at the nibbly alternatives below. Check out our gangsta pic where we’re both sporting the Pink Gold. Kells has layered it on top of Fenty’s Cosmic Gloss Lip Glitter. I’ve layered it on top of Clinique’s Bold Pop matte lip. (Bold Pop is a rich velvety burgundy .)

For Christmas, my lil work SiSter, got me the Sugar Cane* gloss in smashbox’s Be Legendary line. This line has quite the array of colours from a ka-pow brick red to more muted tones. The Sugar Cane base is a full colour warm brown sugar with prismatic micro-glitter. It feels like a creamy slithery gloss (but not as rich as BITE’s). And with a soupçon of glitter. On my skin, this looks like a dark shimmery nude. I’m actually wearing this under a glossy Julep taco** in our Merry Christmas post on our Instagram.

Julep’s translucent GGs are also dreamy. They have pretty good staying power with that yummy glossy feeling. These are generally sheer with super duper fine glitter. There is a choice of 13 colours.  I’ve tried Glowing (coral pink), Charming (deeper rosy brown) and Adored (baby pink). The Julep glosses are great starters for those just getting into gloss and GGs.

Pink Pearl, Rose Pearl, Bold Pop, Sugar Cane, Low Key & Charming: L to R.

 

THE ANALYSIS

These are all awesome glosses in their own right.

more versatile than you think

What we love about glitter glosses is that are uber versatile. You can wear these:

  • straight on your nekkid lip
  • on top of lipstick… you can do the full Monty as we have in our gangsta pic, or just dot your centres to highlight
  • on top of lipliner
  • … get ready to have your mind blown… put a clear gloss on top of the glitter. Yes you heard me right, folks. When you add that clear gloss taco, your lips resemble a shiny marble. It’s glitterati to the max.

Okay so some other considerations…

Kells and I have a gorgeous gal-pal, Lil Kiwi. She is hyperaware of age-appropriateness of makeup and clothing.  She has a lovely porcelain complexion, warm brown mischievous eyes and an infectious AF laugh. However, she gravitates towards a more natural look, anyways, which is always age-appropriate. (Though lately, she’s branched out a bit, which Kells and I love.) So as I myself am approaching a certain number, I had a sad thought: is glitter is out of my age range? After thorough and extensive processing, the light of reason shone upon me.

My conclusion? “My inner diva is channeled and she wants glitter!” and boom! here you have this post^^.

We hope you enjoy exploring these GGs.

Do you have faves that you’d like to rave about?

What are your thoughts? Feel free to leave a comment below!

End bits –for you keeners that look this kinda stuff up–

^(in my head)
* (how appropriate as we are both from lands o’ sugar cane)
** Julep gloss taco: Ultra Hydrating Lipgloss in Low Key
^^ this post is dedicated to all the inner divas out there! Here’s hoping we can out them soon.

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